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Socks Clinton
Mr. Socks The Cat or sometimes called "Sox" by his close friends, was secretly the "First Feline President" of The United States, but officially he was known as the "First Cat" or Clinton's Presidential Pet. Contrary to liberal belief, Bill Clinton was not our president, he was just a "puppet" or the "pretty face" of the administration while Socks was in charge of the presidency. Mr. Socks’ Early Years Mr. Socks was the 12th kitten from a litter in a pet shop. While many of his siblings dreamed of chasing mice or spending their days ‘purring’ in the lap of some old ladies, Mr. Socks dreamed of attaining the Highest Office in the Land… he wanted to be president… but he knew that ‘speciecists’ would make that dream difficult. Mr. Socks knew that many Americans trusted “dogs” more than cats… worst, being a biocolor cat (black and white) would make it more difficult to appeal to voters who saw him as ‘exotic’ and ‘foreign’… Yet, even with those obstacles in his way, that did not impede his ambitions for the presidency. In 1974 Mr. Socks graduated from the Harvard Law School, and in 1977 he worked with Bill Clinton as his legal attorney. “Bubba” was very impressed with the feline, and soon Mr. Socks became his most trusted confidant… Mr. Socks, the “Unofficial” Governor of Arkansas When Clinton wanted to run for the office of Governorship in Arkansas. Few were impressed with the idea. So “Bubba” sought the help of Mr. Socks to help him win the position. Many agree that without the help of Mr. Socks, “Bubba” wouldn’t even be considered to be elected to anything… not even as a “dog catcher”… When Clinton became Governor of Arkansas 1978, Mr. Socks was offered the job as the “unofficial” governor while “Bubba” spend most the days partying and sleeping with “interns” (this was a full-time job). Of course these illicit activities and “affairs” were ‘covered-up’ thanks to the ingenuity of Mr. Socks’ impressive skills. “Bubba” would play the part as the “face” of the governorship and win the heart’s and mind’s of the public, and Mr. Socks would play as the brain’s behind the man and run a very impressive governorship. The Citizens of Arkansas were impressed with Bill Clinton's governorship that there were whispers that Clinton should be president, without realizing that the Cat was the actual governor. Race to the Presidency When Bill “Bubba” Clinton spoke of running for the presidency, many of his advisors disapproved of the idea. Many believed that while Clinton was a “pretty boy” and would easily win the liberal vote, he was considered to be inept and possessed terrible leadership skills. Yet, the liberals were desperate to have a democratic president in the White House, even a bad democratic president was better than a republican president. So a secret meeting was conveyed to figure out a solution. Many of these liberal bearrorists noticed Bill’s companion, Mr. Socks, and they were impressed with his career and administrative skills. But they knew that America was not ready for “The First Feline President”, so a secret deal was made. If Bill “Bubba” Clinton was elected, he would officially be the president but in name only, and Mr. Socks would be a “secret president” and run the office while “Bubba” spend his time playing… Without surprise, Bill Clinton (and Mr. Socks) won the Democratic Party nomination, only very few selected individuals knew about the secret deal that was made. With the help of Mr. Socks, Bill Clinton won the Presidential Election in 1992, and they were both ready to move into the White House. But they both knew that they needed a cover story so they wouldn't arouse suspicion. So they made a cover story that Mr. Socks rescue Chelsea Clinton from "bears" and was adopted by the family in 1991 (despite conflicting evidence) to justify Mr. Socks move into the White House and taking residency within the Presidential Office. Mr. Socks was given the official title of "First Pet" or "First Cat" and Bill "Bubba" Clinton gave him unlimited presidential powers. The Socks/Clinton Administration Socks' Economic Agenda Socks' Foreign Policy The "Other" Pet The Break Up (or How "Buddy" Stole "Bubba" from Mr. Socks) Assassination Attempt against Socks Socks' "Alleged" Anti-Caninetism Socks' "Alleged" "Cover-up" of the Lewinsky "Affair" Socks' Attempt for a "Third" Term Life After the Presidency American Pets Mourn The Loss of a Great Leader